blog
moving in silence
posted up a new ‘podcast’ episode on patreon and substack. i’ve given myself a year to take a stab at patreon and see where it goes. it’s a very small circle at the moment but i feel like i am laying the groundwork for the future, just in case it does become a big moneymaker (or a medium moneymaker, or any sort of moneymaker beyond pocket money).
it’s good to show up and do the drafting, the grunt work, the setting of the scene before people come. it’s better to build it before they come. rather than they come and i have to hastily build something.
there are ways in which people can pay for my work — they can buy my album from bandcamp, they can buy a tote bag, they can join my patreon. but these things had to be created first.
✶
i am tempted to give up instagram for 2026 just to see what happens but i’m really afraid that if i did another kickstarter for my next project, it wouldn’t be as successful. i had a lot of people know about my crowdfunder purely through instagram. there was a buzz there. but i so desperately want to experiment with being off of instagram. i want to move in silence. and then share what i’ve been doing in a place which honours the work. the context has to fit the work.
so many people in theatre that i admire move in silence. you don’t see jamie lloyd posting to instagram. jeremy herrin isn’t on linkedin. they’re working with organisations, theatres, artists. they’re part of a system which works for them. i think indie musicians are so self-sufficient, we start to think that social media is our organisation — our manager, our publicist, our direct line to fans.
it would be a big leap of faith to jump off. i don’t want to. but it’s eating into the way i see myself as an artist. i feel like something has to change about the way i show up on the internet, i’m not showing up fully as myself, but at the same time, i shouldn’t show all of myself on the internet.
i see people who are successful in both realms and i feel like i have to make a choice: to go one way or the other. on or off.
On the boat
We went to Christmas at Kew last night, and halfway through the gardens we came across a fairground.
There was something about being on a ferris wheel, in the middle of a garden, under a full moon….
I’ve been writing songs and one of them is inspired by the Brautigan poem, “A Boat”. I love the images of a fairground at night, the small terror of climbing high, the spins, the whirls, the colours running together.
A Boat, by Richard Brautigan
O beautiful
was the werewolf
in his evil forest.
We took him
to the carnival
and he started
crying
when he saw
the Ferris wheel.
Electric
green and red tears
flowed down
his furry cheeks.
He looked
like a boat
out on the dark
water.
